spread your wings and fly away
by omggcece
Summary: melanie-centric. - she really liked ribbons, and especially the pink ones. mentions sam/freddie.


p _i_ n k.**r i b b o n . **_i n. _t h e. s k y.

Melanie Belle Puckett likes ribbons.

She especially likes the blue&pink ones, her favorite colors.

She likes to put her blonde hair in two little pigtails and tie them up with those two ribbons-

And Sam (and her Mom) might tease her for it, but she doesn't care because something...something tells her she's getting out of this town and she's gonna be a _s t a r _so she just blocks it out.

All the other little girls lovelove_love _her ribbons and everyone's friends with her and she always gets a gold star at the top of her coloring sheets (she's always stayed inside the lines)

-The exact opposite of her Samantha. All the other little girls (including her, sometimes) are scared of her and she doesn't have any friends and she never gets a gold star at the top of her coloring sheets (she's always travelled outside of the lines).

And if it's even possible Sam just hates her more for this and her Mom just gets crazier and when her friends ask, "Where's your daddy?" when they have to draw a picture of her family it drives her insane and oh gosh, she just has to get _away_ from it all.

So one summer day in August, when she thinks she's going to kill herself if she doesn't get away from her Mom and Sam, she packs her little Barbie backpack (she's not getting a new one like all the other girls) and runs away.

She's only been gone a hour before she gets scared and runs back home and she knows later on she's _so _lucky she didn't get kidnapped or murdered or _something. _And just like a bad little girl she wants to run away all over again when her Mom and Samantha don't even notice her coming through the front door with tears running down her face and smelling like...smelling like _outside..._ness_._

But, she simply drops her backpack at the door, screams, and run into her and Samantha's bedroom. And when her Mom comes dashing after her, she slams the door right in her face.

_"Please," _her Mom snorts, but she can't hear anything because she's crying so hard and her head hurts so bad and she's kicking her little legs as furiously as possible.

The lock is picked and then her Mom is calmly walking in and Sam's right behind her, licking her lips and rubbing her hands together. "Are you gonna beat Melanie's butt like that lady on TV?"

Her Mom rolls her eyes at this, ruffling her sister's matching hair. "No, Sammy; you watch too much TV. Now go off to sleep and try to tune out Mel's hissy fit."

"It's not a hissy fit!" She screams back but her Mom's already shut the door and she's left all alone again (yeah, Sam's there, but she doesn't talk to her anyway).

.

She's in the third grade when she decides too start calling her Mom Pam instead of, well, Mom. When she tries to tell Sam this she puts her fingers in her ears and says, "I can't hear you, I can't hear you!" and _gosh, _she is _so _immature.

Now Sam has a friend; her name is Carly Shay and Sam calls her Carlotta, Carls or Cupcake and she's _just like her. _It irks her that Sam is friends with this chick but she can't get along with her own _twin sister, _who's just like her?

It doesn't make any sense and she hates not knowing things but she's Melanie Puckett, the good, behaved twin - she has to keep up appearances, you know. So she's extremely nice to Carly whenever she sees her in school or in class (they're in the same class, and her and Sam always sit next together - same last name - and she always convinces Carly to switch seats with Wendy when school starts) and in the back of her head, she knows it's not Carly's fault at all but for once she doesn't want to be rational.

Later that night at dinner when she's alone with her Mom (Sam's over at Carly's - _again_) and they're eating some pizza she ordered, she calls her _Pam _and ohgoshohgosh she doesn't even _blink. _And it drives her crazy, drives her crazy that no one in this house could care crap (yeah, she said it!) about her and she wants to run away all over again.

.

She's in the middle of the sixth grade when Miss Briggs gives her a brochure too some fancy shmancy boarding school in California.

"Miss Briggs," she begins and it's _so _embarrassing to say and she's doing that thing again, one of her most frequent nervous habits (she's pretty sure she has OCD or something) - pulling at her favorite pink ribbon that tied up her right pigtail. "My Mom really doesn't have any money right now..." She doesn't mention the part about her Mo - _Pam _already spending all the child support she got.

And it's, like, for the first time _ever _Miss Briggs smiles and it doesn't look like the forced one she gives Principal Franklin. "I know you don't, honey. They have scholarships for the poorer students and I sent them a letter of recommendation. You've made it into the top five possible students that can go next year. But if you don't like what you see in the brochure or don't wanna leave all your friends, I'll tell them to take your name out."

Her mouth drops open and ohgoshohgosh this is the big break she's been waiting for - the big break that will finally let her escape from the prision she calls home. Her friends? She's not really sure they're friends, they're all pretty fake and she's sure if she like, started hanging out with Sam or some dorks in the Chess club, they would _so _never talk to her again...

"I definitely want to go! I don't even need to look at the brochure, Miss Briggs...I know I would go, even if it was in some lame place like Arizona or something."

Her teacher raised an eyebrow. "What's so bad about Arizona? My sister-in-law is from there."

"Oh, nothing's bad about Arizonia! It's just..."

"It's alright, Miss Puckett," she interrupts, raising a hand. "Just go, okay?"

Her mouth forms a small 'O' at being interrupted but she quickly regains her composure and she fast walks out of her classroom.

Thankfully that was her last period, so all she has to do is get her books out of her locker and then go tell Sam the good news; she'll probably be delighted to never have too deal with her again.

But unfortunately, when she told her twin the news she was the opposite of delighted.

_"What?" _Sam shouted, jumping up from her place at the end of her bed. "You're leaving me with our insane Mom? How could you!"

And _oh no _Sam is not playing the "How could you" game with her. "Listen, Puckett!" she shouted back, pushing her sister too the floor with a power she didn't know she had. "You're the one who's always off at _Carly's. _If anything, ever since the third grade you've left me with Mom! I mean Pam!"

There's a gasp and the sound of glass breaking and ohgoshohgosh there's blood on the floor and ohgoshohgosh they're all going to die! "Mommy?" She whispers and it's the first time she's called her that in a long time and she sounds like a scared little girl and she _hates _it.

"I-so that's how you girls feel about me? I'm just some crazy old lady to you two?" And the honest answer is _Yes _but this is _so _not the time.

"Mom! Mom, are you okay? I'm calling 911!" Sam's shouting and shouting but she can't speak and ohgoshohgosh she thinks she's going to be _sick _and all she can see is bloodblood_blood._

.

It's a week before the start of the seventh grade when she leaves. She's probably to old for them, but she still puts her hair into those two little pigtails like she's always done and ties them up with her two favorite ribbons - the pink and the blue one and she packs all of her other little ribbons in that same Barbie backpack (she never got a new one until now) and Sam snorts, _"You're so stupid," _and it's just like old times.

Ever since the incident with the glass and...something (she can't really remember it that well) her Mom has been considerably normal and it almost, maybe, kinda freaks her out. She gets a job and her new Italian boyfriend, Alejandro, lasts for like a week and that's the longest for like _any _of her boyfriends. So this year her and Sam get a whole bunch of new clothes and new backpacks and new bed stuff and practically new _everything. _It's wonderful and she kind of wishes she wasn't about to leave but in the back of her mind she knows the only reason her Mom is acting like this is probably her leaving in the first place.

Ever since that new guy Freddie Benson moved in across from Carly he's all Sam can talk about and it's really, really annoying- _"Carly could never love him! Why does he like her so much? It's so annoying!"; "Freddie is so annoying! Freddie's such a dork!- _and gawd, it's, like, just kiss him and stuff already! Her friends (NOT) giggle when she tells them this and Ariana says, _"It's about time she got a crush on a boy! I was starting to think she had a little something for Carly." _

And she should've defended Sam but she knows for a fact when Sam hangs out with Wendy & Carly she makes fun of her all the time so why should she act any different?

Gosh...she just has to keep telling herself she'll be far away from this place (Seattle, her home since, like, FOREVER) soon enough. And it feels _so good _to know today's the day, she's finally _leaving._

Carly comes over and hugs her and says, _"I'll miss you SO much!" _And it makes her sick and she knows Carly's probably just lying, her and Sam will be making fun of her after she leaves, but she's a good girl and doesn't want to bad, not at all, so she squeezes out some fake tears (she's always been an actress) and buries her head in Carly's shoulder and hugs her even tighter (if that's possible) and she knows Sam is rolling her eyes in the background.

Her and Sam don't say goodbye, don't even hug and neither do her and _Pam, _and Carly seems shocked by this but doesn't say anything and the ride to the airport is completely silent.

None of her friends show up to send her off and she's never felt this alone before and it _sucks. _She kind of wanted to meet Freddie, but she's sure Sam didn't even tell him she had a twin sister - all of her newer friends don't know unless they see her around school, ask her about it, and she tells them herself.

The flight too California is boring and silent and lonely and she wishes somebody would tell her she's not alone but no one does and she's a good little girl, and only bad little girls are selfish & shallow and beg people to love them so she stays silent the whole time.

.

She's always dreamed about California...in her dreams, the streets were golden and the sky was the perfect shade of pink, her favorite color and there were rainbows&rainbows, a whole bunch of them and you could go over the rainbow and everyone was nice and good little boys&girls and there weren't any Sam's, who thought she was ugly and stupid and uglyuglyugly.

Okay, so when she gets there...the streets weren't golden and the sky was still blue and there weren't any rainbows and not everyone was nice - she got that from Lucy, the sophomore from the school that picked her up. She was snotty and called her "little girl" and said she was too old for ribbons and they were reallyreally stupid, and so was pink (nobody makes fun of pink!) and when she told her about all the teachers & students from school, she talked like she hated all of them.

And somehow, in the back of her mind, she knew she would probably be friends with Lucy and all the people she talked with because she was just like Ariana and everyone else from her old group at Ridgeway Middle.

"Me and my friends - we're the Welcome Team - are gonna show you around school, alright? And until the year starts, you'll be in our room." And somehow, she knows, this "Welcome Team" is just their way of getting more people for their group; that's kind of like what Ariana used to do with sixth graders...like she used to be.

They finally get there, and Lucy introduces her to everyone: there's five of them so far, not including Lucy, and she guesses it's a "blonde only" group because every single one of them is blonde and blue-eyed, just like her.

There's Cassie, a freshman; she's short and kind of fat, but not _too _fat, like that Half-Ton Teenager girl on the Discovery Health Network that Sam and her Mom always used to watch. Her clothes are reallyreallyreally bright and she looks like some kind of rainbow and it's kind of cool, actually...too her anyway.

Persephone, who's her age, is not too short, not too tall and her hair is a little longer than shoulder length and her clothes are not too bad, not too great and she really doesn't stand out; overall, she's pretty much just..._average. _In looks, height, grades...everything.

Yasmin - who calls herself Blair, because she likes that girl off of Gossip Girl..or whatever the show's called (every time she tried to watch it her Mom would change it too _The Young and the Beautiful_) is definitely the prettiest of all the girls. She has extremely long strawberry blonde hair that goes to her butt, and it's like freaking _amazing. _Her eyes are big and innocent (but she's so not innocent - that's what Cassie tells her with a snort) and one's blue, the other green and her teeth are the whitest she's ever seen. Her smile is, like, _breathtaking _and her clothes are designer, her parents are _loaded, _so she has her own car and it's _awesome. _She's the oldest out of all the girls, a junior, and she's the tallest - and the skinniest. But, like, she's right on the verge of being too skinny, but she's not.

She's too nice to be the leader (she guesses it's Lucy) so she must be the nice mean girl who doesn't really want to be one...le sigh. _Anyway, _then there's Paris, who's from Paris (how original) and she used to be a brunette, but she dyed her hair blonde to join the group. She talks with this weird but beautiful accent and she has, like, three boyfriends - all at the same time. Cassie tells her Paris is the most hated, but she could always take the spot and like, no kidding, it sends a chill down her spine.

The last one Lucy introduces is like the one nobody cares about (she could always take that spot) - she's plain looking and her teeth are yellow-ish and she _so _needs braces and her clothes are terr-ible...so are her hair, now that she thinks about it. Cassie tells her they just keep her around to carry all their stuff around.

So she becomes a member of their group, and after a month Lucy gives her a bracelet with the first letter of all their names on it. Everybody has one and it's, like, the thing that says, _You are an official member. Now that you're in...you can't go back._

They make fun of like, everyone and her grades plummet and she has a 3.8 instead of her normal 4.0 and all the teachers hate them and ohgoshohgosh she's not a good little girl anymore!

One day she wakes up and she can't find her ribbons and then she gets a sick feeling and looks in the trash can, and yesyesyes there's the ribbons, even her favorite pink one and her second favorite blue one and she cries&cries and Lucy tells her to shut up, they're stupid anyway; she's too cool and too old for them now and she stops crying, wipes away the tears because this group is all she has now.

Blair gives her a sad smile and all of the sudden she wants to hit her so badly for being so perfect, not letting them change her, but she gathers up all the self-control she still has and simply gets ready for her first class.

She waits by the phone every free minute she gets hoping (wishing) for somebody to call and checks her cell for any missed calls or unanswered texts and checks her email over and over again, but she gets those three words from Sam or Pam that she wants (needs) - _I miss you._

.

She's in the ninth grade when she hears from her Mom for the first time in almost two years. It's a short text that says, _I want you to come home for Spring Break. I'm sending the ticket for the bus ride too you; it should get there about Thursday or so. _At first she wants to reply, _Oh, now you miss me? I wouldn't come home for a million dollars! I hate you and Sam and Daddy and Spencer and Carly and Seattle and I never wanna see you people again! _But instead, after some comforting from Blair, she decides not too reply at all.

"C'mon, Mel," she had said, rubbing a hand up and down her back. "I'm sure they all have a good reason for not talking to you for so long. I'm sure...I'm sure they just missed you so much they couldn't bear to talk too you."

God bless her soul, she thinks, because she's sure she wouldn't have gotten through everything without her. Blair is the only one who hugs her and cries when she leaves and on the plane ride she calls her, and she says, "I'm not even back yet!" and Blair simply replies, "I'm lonely! You left with these spoiled brats and all they talk about is how stupid everyone else is!"

When she gets there Sam is walking out the door (going to Carly's, she guesses) and she simply grunts and pushes past her and _gosh, _it hurts! When did Sam get even stronger? ...Or did she just get weaker?

After that she stays there, just staring at the door of her old home (it doesn't even feel like home anymore - _a house is not a home_) for what feels like hours before she finds the strength too push open the door. She's worried for a split second Pam might be mad at her for letting her grades drop so much (she's down too a 3.5) but then she says to herself, _It's Pamela Puckett! Like, really, she's probably asleep or drunk or something._

What she gets is totally not expected. Her Mom comes rushing towards her and practically jumps on her; it's a miracle she didn't fall over. She buries her head in her shoulder and whispers over and over again, _"I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry..."_

And she's sure her heart is breaking in two.

.

When she goes over to Carly's she's actually really excited; her Mom actually missing her (she started calling her Mom again, FYI) had put her in a good mood and as she got older and thought over her relationship with Carly, she remembered how most of the time Carly would say, _"Sam! I can't believe you would say that about Melanie!" _and hit her on the arm and she really felt silly for hating Carly back when she was younger.

Carly hugs her tight, says something she doesn't here, all she knows is that it feels so _good _for someone to be hugging her. Blair and Carly..they're like the only people who hug her (she's sure her father used to hug her but...whatever. She can't remember him that well anyway) but all she knows is that she's not alone anymore.

_("You are not alone...")_

.

She doesn't exactly know _why _she kisses Freddie.

Okay, she knows EXACTLY why she kisses Freddie. It's like her revenge at Sam for all the crap she's done over the years and maybe, just maybe, it'll make Sam finally realize Freddie is actually a really attractive guy and if she wants him (which she most definitely does) she needs to go into action NOW. So, in a way, she's trying to get revenge but at the same time make her sister, the only person she thinks actually, truly, and sincerley hates her - _happy._

Instead, Sam simply doesn't talk to her and Carly tells her the night she gets back over the phone (ohgoshohgosh, Carly called her!) that Sam still isn't admitting her feelings for him.

.

Her grades plummet some more (she has like a 3.2 now, she's so pathetic) and she gets meaner and she never puts her hair in pigtails anymore and she misses&misses her ribbons more and more and _more._

_._

She's in the eleventh grade when she gets her first boyfriend. Really, she doesn't understand why she didn't get one sooner - that's what she tells Blair - and the girl replies, _"They were all scared of you because you were so mean and popular...and rich."_

And yeah, she lets everyone think she's rich, and like, it's so not their business if she's not really that rich anyway!

His name is Bobby, and he has the nicest smile she's ever seen and he's soso cool and all the other girls are _so _jealous when they strut down the hallway, hand-in-hand and looking totally in love.

They never really have a first kiss - it's more like he tries to eat her face while his hands roam all over her body and touches places he really shouldn't be touching and one day she pushes him off of her because she knows what happened to her mother when she was her age and he dumps her the next day, in front of everyone, and her rep is like _ruined._

Lucy gives her a second chance, though, and she never has another boyfriend the whole last two years she spends at boarding school.

.

It's really kind of lonely after Blair graduates.

Of course, she still visits like every other day and they IM all the time, but those other important moments when she's all alone and wants to cry&cry and feels horrible the girls laugh at her and tell her to stop being a baby and she wantswantwants someone to _care._

.

After she finishes high school she's done with boarding school and she'll never (hopefully) see any of these people again. Her Mom and Sam come to graduation and it's the first time they see or talk since she visited when they were in the ninth grade. Persephone makes the speech and none of the original girls from the group are there except Blair, of course. Persephone's speech is short, sweet, to-the-point and it has a whole bunch of "likes" and "whatever's" in it. She can hear snickering and she knows Sam is laughing and rolling her eyes somewhere in the audience.

Her grades are a tragedy at this point and it's a wonder she even makes it here. When she accepts her diploma she hears a camera flash and someone cheering her name, and she knows it has to be Blair but it's Sam and she's smilling and ohgoshohgosh she thinks she's going to have an heart attack.

When the whole ceremony is over Sam hugs her and like, she's never ever done that before and it's new and weird and ailen but she likes the way it feels...it feels nice and warm and _perfect._

Her Mom cries and hugs her so tightly she can't breathe for a spilt second, and Blair practically spins her around and like, oh lordy, she's never felt like this before...like she could fly into the sky and never come down.

Sam tells her, jokingly, that her and Freddie are dating and yesyesyes they're finally together! Her Mom giggles and she's pretty sure she's never heard that sound come from her mother's lips before. Blair laughs, too, and it's the most beautiful thing she's ever heard and it sounds like _music _and rainbows and pink skies and pink&blue&purple&red ribbons and happiness and blonde pigtails.

.

She decides too move in with Blair and Persephone; Blair is a makeup artist and she gets to go too all of the movie openings and wrap parties and it's a wonderful life!

Sometimes it seems like Persephone doesn't have any direction in her life; she doesn't search for jobs or have any idea what she wants to do with her life. She brings a new guy home every night (it reminds her of her mother) and when she asks the girl what exactly is she doing, she smiles and whispers, _I'm living._

It's the most intelligent and the prettiest thing she's ever said and suddenly everything seems to make much more sense. Her? She gets small roles in movies as extras, and she's waiting&waiting for her breakout role and every time she wants to give up and go back to Seattle, Blair tells her _It's all gonna work out _and it's amazing someone can be this understanding, so patient and sometimes it seems like Blair is perfect.

And the girl laughs, flips her perfectperfectperfect hair over her shoulder and says in her prettyprettypretty voice, "Wanna know a secret?"

And she nods her head so hard it hurts and leans in close to the other girl.

Blair sighs, and looks away and ohgoshohgosh she's finally go know a flaw that Blair has. What could it be?

She sighs again and looks down at the floor. "I don't exactly eat anything." And then she jumps back and she looks so scared and then she's runningrunningrunning away and suddenly everything makes sense.

The days when Blair would come home from 7-Eleven with a whole bunch of food and would disappear for a long time and how could she not know this? She wants to help her, help her sososo much but she's frozen in place and she just wants to cry&cry and why, Blair, why?

And Melanie Belle Puckett eventually comes to this conclusion:

Every body's broken on the inside.

.

She gets her breakout role the next year in a children's movie called _Ahh! Monsters! _and wins a Kids Choice Award for Favorite Movie Actress and a TCA for Best Smile.

Persephone gets married and then she finds out about Blair's _thing _and drags her kickingkicking&screamingscreaming too get help and ohgoshohgosh it's horrifying; Blair is perfectperfect she shouldn't be like this and what will she do now, she's all alonealonealone and everything is _wrong._

Sam and Freddie come and they take her back to Seattle with them until she's not crazy or something like that but she can't hear anything except for Blair's screams and it killskillskills her. Sam's in college, that's what she tells her, and it doesn't make much sense to her and she doesn't except it from Sam; her, Freddie, and Carly all rent a house together now and they seem so happy and it freaking gets on her nerves.

One day when it's dinnertime and she's not eating and the three of them are just staring at her, she feels someone grab her hair and ohgoshohgosh what's going on?

She looks behind her and there's Sam, she has two ribbons - they're pink&blue - thrown over her shoulder and she does her hair in two pigtails, like she used too do them, and Sam ties them up with the ribbons and slaps down a packet of ribbons on the table next to her.

Freddie slowly smiles and Carly bites down on her lip to stop from squealing as Sam sits next to her and grabs her hand, giving it a squeeze before getting up again and going back too her old seat.

She looks around at the trio and she gets that feeling again, gets that feeling she hasn't gotten since graduation that she could just flyflyfly away into a pink sky and the streets would be golden and their would be rainbows and everyone would be nice&happy and there would no wars or hate...and everything would just be _perfect._

She smiles and then she's laughing (she hasn't laughed in weeks) and then they're all laughing and all of the sudden she's hungry (she hasn't been hungry in weeks) and she's shovelling food in her mouth and Carly laughs and jokes, "You've never looked so much like Sam before, Melanie."

And then, and then they're all laughing again.

.

_There's a pink ribbon in the sky for our love..._

.

(I do not own iCarly or that lyric from Stevie Wonder's song, "Pink Ribbon in the Sky")


End file.
